Imagined Conversaton: Annoying Girls In Class

Mary: Hey Jill, how are we going to super annoy the shiz out of Jason today?
Jill: I don’t know, want to tap the back of his chair and act oblivious to his signals that he’s getting annoyed?
Mary: Well, yeah, but we did that yesterday…
Jill: Umm…so what?
Mary: You’re so right Jilly Bean!
Jill: Meredith, can you hear that? I’m tapping my pencil to the classic tune, Mambo #5. Ha, there he goes. He keeps looking back at us. We’re such whores!
Mary: I know! We’re super whores! Oh, wow Peanut Butter and Jilly, that sounds so good, can I jump in?
Jill: Please do! We should start a band…the duo-whore processors!
Mary: Ha, it has the word whore in it!
Jill: Aren’t I whorible?
Mary: You clever slut! Oh my god, my feet are super wet, hear them squeak?
Jilly: Super squeaky Mary Kate, super squeaky.
Mary: Perfect! Gosh, I’m so super annoying. So annoying, like, it’s like, well like you see I like, I don’t know, it’s super hard to explain how like, umm, annoying I am, you know?
Jill: Bloody Mary, I know exactly what you mean.
Mary: sighs Does it sound like I’m whispering Mary, Mary, Bo-barry?
Jill: What skank?
Mary: Does it sound like I’m whispering Mary Bonds?
Jill: No, you’re actually talking quite loudly.
Mary: Did Jason really just “shush” us? What were you saying Jilly Willy?
Jill: I said you’re actually talking quite loudly!
Mary: Haha, so bitchy. So annoying. So retro. Oh, look, Jason moved to the center of the row. How can we annoy him now?
Jill: Plan B?
Mary: What’s plan B?
Jill: Plan “Be a big douche bag and annoy everyone in a class of 532.”
Mary: Let’s do it!
Jill: raises hand Umm, Prof! Prof! Question! Words are fun to say, I make sure to put a lot of them together but by the end the statement I don’t make any sense.
Professor: You are retarded and will die with no one. To explain my hatred for you further, whenever I see a car crash most people slowdown to see if anyone is hurt, I slow down to see who is hurt, and every time I am disappointed it is not you. In addition, I think your friend is also retarded.
Mary: Really good question Jillizabeth.
Jill: Thanks slutty slut slut annoying slutface.
Mary: We are awful, awful people.
Jill: I know, super awful.