Pot Logic

I went to Chicago and brought some pot with me. In the morning Ipacked, and to have a better travel experience, I ingested some of mypot.

Mistake 1: “If I can’t smell it, a dog can’t.” Even before I felt anything I made this rationalization.

Mistake 2: “I’m high. Oh, God. I’m really high.” Being high on theMegabus was terrifying! I had already assumed bus security consisted offive or six cops with dogs sniffing for drugs, but instead of that Ifound the only security was provided by an old homeless man waving anempty forty at some people in downtown Cleveland. I was also sure FredFlinstone was now driving the bus and I needed to find the trap door tobrake with my feet before the next intersection.

Mistake 3: “Can all dogs smell marijuana?” was my next horror-strickenthought. The bigger mistake was asking the old woman next to me thisquestion. Every stop we made I paced quickly past all the dog walkerson the street. One barked at me from behind a cracked car window: Iswear to God, I heard it bark my name.

Mistake 4: Peanut butter. My friend told me peanut butter would coverup the scent, but because I was high, I didn’t think about putting itin a container. I just took some off the sandwich I’d made and spreadit around the bag. Now I had peanut butter pot in the front of my bag,and I’m sweating balls next to an old lady who thinks I’m about to stabher.

Mistake 5: Not smoking everything before coming back to my parentshouse. Then my dogs smelled the peanut butter and ate all my pot.

Good Choice 1: Their huge pug eyes swelled shut, and we each ate a bowlfull of milk bones. My teeth have never felt more slippery and clean.