Too Soon?

Thanks to a one-man vigilante crime fighting force, Gotham City returns to buisness-as-usual following last night’s events. Joker, the elusive criminal mastermind responsible for multiple homicides over the past months, was found dead in a fourth-floor studio appartment; a bottle of sleeping pills on a nearby night stand suggested suicide.

However, video footage captured outside of the appartment told the true story of the Joker’s demise. The Joker can be seen returning to his apartment at 10:52 PM, visibly fatigued and limping slightly. He rushed to his room and immediately locked the door. At this exact moment, a hooded and caped figure approched the door and attached a bat-shaped explosive to the bolt. When the debris cleared, The Joker could be seen wielding an oversized pie pan, filled with an undetermined substance.

After knocking the pie pan out of the Joker’s hands, the cloaked man threw a boomerang shaped device at him, slicing the Joker’s neck at the throat. Though the rest of the footage reveals no information concerning where this masked marauder went after the scene of the crime, Gotham’s own Bruce Wayne has a theory as to his whereabouts.

“If I were you, I’d definately check out, like, Florida or something,” Wayne says. “This looks like a guy who loves the sun. Definatly not a local.”

In unrelated news, Heath Ledger (Brokeback Mountain, A Knight’s Tale) was pronounced dead yesterday while visiting long time friend Christian Bale.