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Jake Hurwitz

Your Roommate, Translated

by Jake Hurwitz on

Simply roll your mouse over the text to reveal its true meaning!

How old is your sister?
Wanna see what’s on ESPN?
Wanna help me clean?
Hey, my girlfriend is coming here this weekend.
Is it cool if I borrow your deodorant?
What time do you get out of class?
Are you goin’ to eat?
You goin’ to throw out the trash?
You goin’ anywhere tonight?
I need to get some studying done.
I like this shirt.
Dude…I kissed your sister
My internet connection is messed up.
Dude I haven’t gotten laid in so long.
Just kidding.
Do you have any lube?
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Jake Hurwitz

Jake Hurwitz

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My freshman year of college, my ginger roommate bought some alcohol before he went home one weekend. When he left, my friends on my floor and I emptied his clear raspberry vodka into another bottle and replaced it with salt water (so that it wouldn't freeze) and put it back in the freezer. A week or two later, he and his friends were sitting around our room, drinking salt... Read More » water, and acting drunk. He even noted that he could "really taste the raspberry." The look on their faces when we told them that it was salt-water was priceless...and I'm sure the placebo effect immediately wore off!