The World's Worst Boyfriend's Girlfriend Prepares for Valentine's Day

Check out her boyfriend’s list.

To Do!!!

Remind Jeremy to get condoms this time, not just lube.

Wash hair, put on make up.

Draw on Jer-Jer’s Graffitti Wall!

Call Best Buy and ask if they sell purses.

GoogleMap a route that avoids circuses and ALL CLOWNS (eww gross!).

Remind Jeremy I like Cabernet Sauvignon, not Merlot, and that Malt Liquor is NOT red wine.

Check to make sure Jeremy got the reservations at Chez Lisbon, not another sports bar.

Get the dress I wore on first date cleaned, pressed.

Get Rock Band for Jer-Jer.

Finish up Soulmates picture collage and scrapbook.

Give local tattoo parlors my picture, make sure they won’t give me a tattoo (again), no matter how drunk I am.

Tell Dad not to worry when Jeremy threatens him. And also mention he should give me money so Jeremy doesn’t hurt him again. Furthermore, tell Dad to wait in the house when he hears the El Camino coming.

Remember not to stare directly at Jeremy’s tooth. It makes him angry. Tell this to Dad too.