God Blog: Revelation XII

Hey guys, what’s happening? Just kidding, I already know. Before I get to My thoughts I just want to address the fact that I have a sponsor on my blog. A lot of you guys were like, “Ugh, this is so lame,” and one of you (Trevor Hanson of Duluth, MN) got sexually excited by the notion of sponsored content for some reason (NOT my doing). I guess I’m looking at it like ‘this is the cost of my free time,’ ya know? Plus, they don’t tell Me what to write about which is good because the last time someone tried to do that I got so annoyed I made it so puppies would grow up.

Anyway, I was going through My old ethereal scrolls the other day (feeling nostalgic for the cretaceous period, I guess) and I came across the funniest note I had written. It just said, “Heat ice?” I guess I was going to will some sort of ice-caused-by-heat thing into existence and then forgot about it? So stupid, but can you imagine how much all these “scientists” would be scratching their heads?! I should do that just to make them crazy. Or I could just make them crazy.

OK, if I were to get rid of one emotion for you guys, which would you choose? I feel like I gave you one too many, so pick on and whichever gets the most I’ll get rid of.*

This poll is no longer active.

*Just so you know, it’ll take a few hundred million years to cleanse the hive-soul’s palate of whichever emotion we’re ditching, but whatevs.

I took a few minutes to check out some of the prayers coming in and like five people right in a row wanted money for vinyl siding. It was insane, I called Azrimeth over and he couldn’t believe it. A Fiver only happens once, maybe twice, every few millenia. Best part? Gabriel was in the bathroom when it happened and he missed it! EPIC WIN!

You know what I never figured out? Nothing.

Me be with you,

God