Dorm Room Defecation

The time is 5:23 a.m. My roommate and some of his friends got really drunk tonight and one of the more drunk friends chose my roommates bed to fall asleep in. At about 5:05 am the friend that passed out in my roommates bed woke up with a rumble in his stomach. At this point in time he thinks it’s a good idea to drop trou and take a shit…in my trashcan. This man crawled out of bed and made himself comfortable on the trashcan. My roommate woke up and said “did someone fart? It smells like shit in here.” We then look over and see this man sitting on the trashcan like a lazy boy. The smell of shit fills the air as the seconds tick by and as the question of “dude are you seriously taking a shit in our trashcan right now?” keeps coming, he calmly shakes his head no and remains relieving himself atop our trash. I can no longer sleep knowing a shit has been taking inside the walls of my room. It took us about ten minutes to coax him out of our room and into the bathroom. He is still currently in the bathroom throwing up in the trashcan he took a shit into. R.I.P. trashcan because we will certainly not be using it anymore. I’ve had my fair share of drunken nights but never has the idea of shitting in a trashcan come across my mind. The bathroom is about a twenty foot walk from my dorm room. I’ve pissed myself before, thrown up, gotten in a fight, all the good stuff people do when drunk, but never have I, or anyone I know, taken a shit in someones trash receptical. I am still dumbfounded as to how someone could take refuge on the plastic edges of a trashcan and use it as a port-o-potty. Some may find this normal or say “dude that happened to me twice last week, and to those I say What the hell is wrong with you? When did this become ok? Did I miss the memo? A message to all those out there thinking that this might be a good idea in the future, it is not…use a toilet.

Thank You.