Roommate Confessions: Issue 11

It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to RoommateConfessions@GMail.com

My roommate last year had two cats. Now, I don’t mind cats but one of these ones was especially terrible. So early one morning after it woke me up crying in the hallway I grabbed it and ran through our apartment complex zig zagging and weaving for about a half block to disorient it and dropped it off behind some bushes. Never saw the bastard again.
Rob, University of Redlands

My other roommate and I hate our roommate and his bitchy girlfriend. She basically lives at our apartment 5 days a week, and takes over the bathroom and destroys the place while shes there. Whenever I go into the bathroom and take something of hers and dunk it in the toilet. My roommate and I laugh later when we see her wearing a necklace or hair-tie that has been in the toilet. We also stomp the shit out of her shoes which she leaves in our way. And we will continue to do both.
No Name, No School

Our roommate would stay up until 3am every night playing his ridiculous Playstation 2 games. Not cool ones either. Since he owned the console, he would never let any of the other guys play it, although it was on the TV that came with the room. One night after he had gone to bed, 2 of the guys in our room put a porno DVD in his PS2 and put it on a scene that could have been titled “Liberace tickles the ivories” and paused it. We turned off the TV and went to bed. The next morning his Mom showed up to do his laundry (sad AND pathetic) and turned on the TV. She sat him down and asked if he was gay right there with genuine concern. It was priceless.
Danny, Missouri Southern State University

One of my current housemates is very particular that we don’t use her dishes and silverware, but she has no problem letting us clean them up and put them away. I don’t mind anymore, because I either sneeze on or lick every piece before putting it away.
Emily, School Not Given

When I first moved out, me and my roomate would always play practical jokes on each other. We did everything from saran wrap on the toilets to flour antiquing, you know, harmless stuff. Then one night he thought he played the perfect joke on me. We were at a bar and he left early with some girl, so I decided to stay out to give him some privacy and stay at a friends house. I went home the next morning, and found stains all over my sheets and blankets. I was pissed, and thought of the perfect retaliation. I later found out that he bought sheets that looked like mine, and stained them. I still wanted to carry out my perfect plan: I threw a party at my apartment, and made up some bogus drinking game that had my roomate and his cousin drinking more than everyone else. After they finally passed out, me and a few buddies stripped them down to their underwear and put them in the same bed, along with some goo stuff we bought at a toy store . We all went and stayed at a friends house. The next day, I went home and my roomate was sitting on the couch staring into space. He didn’t say much for a few days. Since then, my roomate’s spirits have raised, but he still won’t look his cousin in the eye.
A Red Raider, Texas Tech