Idiot's Guide to the CCGotD

Here’s a handy guide for those of you having trouble judging the Cute College Girl of the Day:

1. By how many letters has her name been “uniquified”?
a) 0 [ex: Lauren] (4 points)
b) 1 [ex: Lauryn] (2 points)
c) 2 [ex: Laurynn] (0 points)
d) 3 [ex: Jimbo] (-2 points)

2. What celebrity does she most resemble?
a) Jessica Alba (4 points)
b) 2000 Britney Spears (3 points)
c) Rosie O’Donnell (1 point)
d) 2007 Britney Spears (-2 points)

3. How many “kissy face” pictures are there?
a) 0 (4 points)
b) 1 (0 points)
c) 2 (-4 points)
d) 3 (-10 points)

4. How close to you does she live?
a) Across the country/in a different country (0 points)
b) Same/adjacent state (1 point)
c) Same school! (3 points)
d) I can smell her hair… (4 points, extra creepy)

5. Have you been keeping count?
a) No, I’ve been gazing longingly into her eyes in this picture (3 points)
b) Yeah, I’ve been writing it down (2 points)
c) Yeah, I’m inputting it into Excel (1053R points)
d) No, I was busy masturbating to her picture (4 points)

6. In her most scandalous picture, approximately how much of her skin is visible?
a) 1 sq. ft. or less (0 points)
b) Around 2 sq. ft. (1 point)
c) Around 3-4 sq. ft. (2 points)
d) Around 6 sq. ft. (what website are you on?)

7. What can you gather about her from her interview?
a) Good pop-/internet-culture knowledge, fun-loving (4 points)
b) Somewhat desperate for attenton, slightly bitchy (2 points)
c) Thinks/knows internet communities are made up of freaks (0 points)
d) Puts out (10 points)
e) I don’t read (1 point, pat on the back)

Okay, now that we have our numbers—hey! Are you jerking off again? Forget it…