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CH Staff

Super Bowl Ad Superlatives

by CH Staff on

Sunday’s big game brought with it the annual crop of big budget, high concept, and low brow commercials. From Pepsi-chugging pop-stars to monstorous pigeons to Chris Kattan, Super Bowl XLII’s million-dollar airtime was overflowing with both brilliant marketing and annoying ads. Below you’ll find the highest highs and the lowest lows of football’s — and Bud Light’s — biggest night.

Most Likely to Alienate Asians








Most Likely to Alienate Every Other Ethnic Group








Most Likely to be Taken Seriously








Cutest Disembodied Heart








Least Likely to Revive Chris Kattan’s Career








Most Likely to Sexually Arouse Giants Fans








Most Animals Harmed During Filming








Sickest Tattoo








Most Likely to Increase Rentals of “Blue Chips”








Most Likely to Prompt “Dick in a Bottle” Comment








Most Quotable








Most Accurate Representation of Bud Light Drinkers








2nd Most Creative Use of “Salute Your Shorts” Actor








Most Likely to Cause Night Terrors





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Hail "Thatan"

To My Dear Roommate: I'm sorry if I made you fear for your life. I'm not a Satanist. I just wanted you to GTFO for a few days so I could move out in peace. Since you (among all your other "charming" qualities) always taunted me mercilessly about my speech impediment and I know you love doing your Helen Keller impressions for the hearing-impaired girl across the... Read More » hall, I just didn't want you bullying my deaf father while he helped me move my fridge out from underneath your garbage. I probably went to far with the altar and the upside-down cross, but I didn't see your ugly mug again until I was comfortably situated in my new room. Admittedly, I felt a little guilty when you handed me a "Have You Let Christ into Your Heart?" pamphlet a week later. Thorry about that, thister.