Issue #46

Illegal in 48 states. Frowned upon in the other two.

-"My Dad is a long-suffering Giants fan."
-"What do you mean? They just won the Super Bowl."
-"He's dying of stomach cancer."

– Tom Sunnergren

Hank Aaron's Pun School

"I'd risk my ass to challenge Barry Bonds' home run record, but I don't have an asterisk."

– Dan Gurewitch

Homeless people are like squirrels. They're fun to watch from a distance, but the closer you get, the more you just want to throw rocks at them.

– Jordan Linback

When people tell me that cigarettes contain ammonia, which is also found in dog sh*t, it doesn't make me want to smoke any less. It just makes me think a little more highly of dog sh*t.

– Jeremy Griffin

Automobile Owners Be Warned

Used cars sell for much less than new cars. Especially when they were used for vehicular manslaughter.

– Patrick Cassels

Weekly Sudoku Tip

Bottom right region, middle box. It's a seven. You should be able to take things from here.

– Jeff Rubin

Great Email Address

Weekend@bernies.com

– Amir Blumenfeld

Call me crazy, but when I hear my dog barking, I know there's a ghost in the room… because my dog died two years ago.

– Shawn Pearlman

Coca-Cola or Cocaine?

-"Available at most corner stores."
-"Perfect for parties."
-"Makes your dick small but it's worth it."

– Streeter Seidell

Click here to submit your own 105%.

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105% / Issue #46