1. Still-warm sweatpants, teddy bear fresh t-shirt
ELAPSED TIME: 45 seconds

2. Crisply ironed khakis, spring fresh boxers, starched shirt
ELAPSED TIME: 12 hours

3. Jeans, clean hoodie, boxers worn for like 5-minutes the day before (so still clean)
ELAPSED TIME: 3 days

4. Clean khakis, shirt, boxers with Febreze sprayed along asscrack area
ELAPSED TIME: 5 days

5. Wrinkled khakis with freshly purchased socks and boxers
ELAPSED TIME: 7 days

6. Jeans and hoodie with dirty boxers (now with rubbing alcohol instead of Febreze)
ELAPSED TIME: 10 days

7. Jeans and hoodie (no boxers)
ELAPSED TIME: 12 days

8. Jeans and hoodie (no boxers)
ELAPSED TIME: 13 days

9. Jeans and hoodie, see if boxers have become "air cleaned"
ELAPSED TIME: 15 days

10. Jeans and hoodie (no boxers)
ELAPSED TIME: 16 days

11. Sweatpants, no shirt, blue blazer
ELAPSED TIME: 18 days

12. Jeans and hoodie with stolen doggy menstruation diaper
ELAPSED TIME: 20 days

13. Post-Halloween clearance sale Superman costume
ELAPSED TIME: 25 days

14. Jeans and hoodie with Superman tights on inside (Febrezed along super asscrack)
ELAPSED TIME: 30 days

14. Tuxedo
ELAPSED TIME: 45 days