Carrie Underwood's "Before He Cheats": As Written By Her Boyfriend

Right now, she’s probably still thinkin’ of shit I’ve done wrong,
And she’s probably gettin’ pissy…

Right now, she’s probably so mad I forgot our favorite movie that she’s gettin’ kinda dizzy…

Right now, she’s probably ˜bout to call all her friends up, tellin’ them about how many times I’ve seen Ramboooo…

But she don’t know…

That I met this chick at the bar, her name was Chelsea, or was it Amber?
Took her back home, between my bed sheets…
I stuck my “Louisville slugger” between her two headlights.
Rammed that hole between her thighs.

Maybe my girlfriend will think before she screams.

Right now, she’s probably still dreamin’ ˜bout
That piece-of-shit guy from Grey’s Anatomy…

Right now, she’s probably thinkin’ “I’m fat”
While breaking out a pint of Ben and Jerry’s “Chunky Monkey”…

Right now, she’s probably crying because my body doesn’t look like Ramboooo’s…

And she don’t know…

That I met this chick at the bar, her name was Chelsea, or was it Amber?
Took her back home, between my bed sheets…
I stuck my “Louisville slugger” between her two headlights.
Rammed that hole between her thighs.

Maybe my girlfriend will think before she screams…

At me, maybe next time she’ll think before she screams.