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Are You Going To Get Someone Pregnant This Valentine's Day?

by Kevin Corrigan on

Just answer the questions below to see if you're going to ruin your life by getting some broad pregnant today, or if you've drank too much Mountain Dew for that to ever be possible! If you are a female taking this quiz, reverse the genders of each question in your head and use your imagination.

Let's start with the basics, do you have a girlfriend?
No girlfriend and no girls on the horizon (0 points)
There's one or two girls I hook up with but it's not serious (1 point)
I don't have a girlfriend but the girl I hook up with regularly would say she had a boyfriend if asked the same question (2 points)
I have a girlfriend (3 points)

Did you get anyone any gifts for today?
No. I already told you I can't get a date. Stop making me feel bad (0 points)
I'm sure I can find something in one of my drawers if any girls come over (1 point)
The movie rental is on me tonight (2 points)
Flowers and chocolate. Pretty standard really (3 points)

What's the most romantic thing you're likely to do today?
Wish my Mom a happy Valentine's Day (0 points)
Cuddle after hooking up (1 point)
Be nice to her in public (2 points)
Paint an edible chocolate portrait of my lover (3 points)

How do you usually prevent babies?
You can't get a computer pregnant (0 points)
Blowjobs! (1 point)
Condoms (2 points)
By waiting untill the absolute last second to pull out, usually (3 points)

Find someone else nearby. Ask them to rank your attractiveness on a scale of one to four, four being the most attractive:
1 (0 points)
2 (1 point)
3 (2 points)
4 (3 points)

Be honest, did you know it was Valentine's day before you saw the title of this quiz?
No, I had no idea (0 points)
I knew it was coming up, I just didn't know it was today (1 point)
Of course I did, the Iron Chef Valentine's Day dessert battle is tonight (2 points)
Yes. I've been planning for it since last Valentine's Day (3 points)

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