The Morning After Lost: What Was He, A Diplomat?

She wanted breakfast in bed. Check.

She wanted flowers. Check.

She wanted you to wear a cheesy red tie that matched her dress. Check.

She wanted you to go down on her because, let’s face it, you don’t do that enough. Check.

She wanted you to write her a poem. Check.

She wanted you to write her a poem in Latin. Check.

She wanted you to spell out her name in giant letters on the quad in the blood of your ex-girlfriend. Check.

She wanted you to take her on a romantic Valentine’s Day dinner. Check.

She wanted the dinner to start at 9pm.

O, HELL no, Bitch!

It’s Thursday night, and in case you didn’t get the homemade Valentine, I choo-choo-choose my islanders. Here’s what went down this week, in a missile-like payload:

Sayid, Miles and Kate set out to find Charlotte so that the helicopter people will take them to the boat. They are tricked into an ambush set-up by Locke and his followers. Kate stays “ perhaps as a prisoner of her own former friends, and Sayid trades Miles for Charlotte, bringing her back to the helicopter, which takes off for the boat with Sayid, Pilot Dude, and Desmond inside. In a flash-forward, we see that Sayid is a hitman working unwillingly for…..drumroll please….Ben!

Here’s what we learn:
1. My friend Lonny Ross really wants me to mention him in my Lost column. Are you happy now?
2. As has previously been hypothesized (and confirmed by the writers), time passes differently on the island. We learn this from Daniel’s little experiment. It’s little nuggets like this that make us love this show so much!
3. Hurley is questioning Locke’s methods.
4. Locke has enough power over his group now that he convinced them to trick, ambush, and point guns at their own friends. Crazy!
5. Sawyer wants to stay on the island and play house with Kate. Yummy.
6. Juliet went to find Desmond to show him the helicopter. But, where the heck was he? Also, he grills the helicopter people about Penelope, who claim to know nothing. But they are obvi hiding something about her.
7. Sayid is one of our Oceanic 6. It seems that he struck some sort of deal with Ben and his punishment is killing people on a “list.” On a side note, one of his killings took place in The Seychelles, and I have always wanted to go there. Sugar Daddies apply below.
8. Next week, some of our people may be off the island!!!! And, more importantly, Sawyer and Kate “do it” again. Break out the hand lotion, guys.
9. Ben’s got some secret room with passports and foreign currency. Holy crap. Has he been leaving the island this whole time???
10. Small plot hole “ Why would Jack et al assume that Locke et al would automatically head for the Others Village? That made no sense to me. Maybe the production people just really wanted to use that set again? Theories, please.
11. Naomi wears a bracelet similar “ or identical “ to one worn by Sayid’s future lover/victim.
12. Sayid gets hotter in the future.
13. Sawyer is calling Kate “Freckles” again. Happy Valentine’s Day!