Because laughter is the best medicine, and we’re its corrupt pharmaceutical lobby.
Flawless Logic
Don’t drink and drive, unless you’re a really good multi-tasker. I’m ashamed to admit it now, but I lied on my college application essay. In the space after it says “HIGH SCHOOL GPA,” I wrote “I KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS.”
Canadians
We’re not afraid of Mexicans because we have a huge fence called “America.”Cannibal Query
If you could have one person for dinner, living or dead, who would it be? I write “World’s Worst Job Award!” on dollar bills and keep them in my car just for toll booths.
If Emo Bands Were Like Rappers And Recorded Skits
answering machine picks up“Hey Artemis, it’s Nate. Just heard the new record and I gotta say this thing is so sad. Reminds me of Beth so much I nearly cried while listening. Gotta go, Cambria’s sending me a bulletin on MySpace. Later!”
answering machine click
The only thing worse than standing next to your waiter at the urinal is standing next to your waitress at the urinal.
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Christmas Gift Org Charts, Through Life
What Your Ski Tracks Say About You
10 Ways to Make the Internet Better
What People Will Say They're Thankful for This Thanksgiving, And What They Actually Mean
iPhone Airplane Modes for Other Vehicles
Pop-Up Notifications in Real Life
Spending your Valentine's Day on the internet? This will make everything better.
Thoughts on Valentine's Day from people who are paid to be cynical bastards.
The 3D makes this movie look real...ly sucky
Your pet says a lot about you. But then, you have a gossipy parrot.
Guys try to surf without water, and somehow succeed.
Ice T is good, but this time of year it's all about CoCo
Yeah! And why did Microsoft make Bing when they can just use Google?
Valentine's Day was simpler back then. And creepier.
Hey! Get your real world out of my internet!
These guys are getting called out by the reeferee.
