Alanis Morissette's "Ironic," Modified To Actually Make It About Bananas

Read the article that inspired this one! Neat!

An old banana back in ’98
It turned ripe one morning
And went bad the next day
It’s a black fly in your banana daiquiri
It’s a junior banana split
When you’ve already had three
Isn’t it bananas… don’t you think?

It’s like monkeys
On Banana Day
It’s when the yellow kind
Tastes like lemon, okay
It’s when you’re burned alive
Making Bananas Flambé
You add way too much rum… Two jiggers!

Mr. Play-It-Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase
And kissed his kids good-bye
He waited his whole damn life
To take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
“Gee, I’d really like a banana…”
And isn’t it bananas… don’t you think?

It’s like monkeys
On Banana Day
It’s when the yellow kind
Tastes like lemon, okay
It’s when you’re burned alive
Making Bananas Flambé
You add way too much rum… Two jiggers!

Well bananas have a funny way of being all mush
When you think it’s gonna be okay and you peeled it just right
And bananas have a funny way of being all hard
When you think it’ll taste better when you put it in the freezer with, like, some chocolate syrup maybe and then your mom or your girlfriend says, “Why are you wasting bananas??” and then she hits you with it….

You pretend it’s a gun
And get shot in the face
You pretend it’s something else
And then you get Maced
It’s like ten thousand nanners
When all you need is a plantain
It’s setting up the peel slip of your dreams
And then they don’t feel any pain
And isn’t it bananas… don’t you think?
A little too bananas… and yeah I really do think…

It’s like monkeys
On Banana Day
It’s when the yellow kind
Tastes like lemon, okay
It’s when you’re burned alive
Making Bananas Flambé
You add way too much rum… Two jiggers!

Bananas have a funny way of being all mush
Bananas have a funny, funny way of being all hard
Being all hard