What I did on my Snow Day!

Just like the thrill of a morning erection, waking up and finding that a snow day has cancelled classes inspires a certain awe within us all. Except for snow shovelers. Or plowmen. And people that don’t actually get off of work. You know, people with important jobs…

But the rest of the population, maybe like a 1/15 of it, get that certain awe within them. With the day just beginning, there is so much potential; the day is just being asked to be grabbed by the vag and taken advantage of.

Below is an account of what I did on my snow day.

MORNING

9:45 – Wake up and find classes are cancelled, yay! Mutter something about the day having a vag and grabbing it.
9:51 – Fuck I can’t go back to sleep. Scroll through people’s away messages, nobody’s awake yet.
10:00 – After making eggs, I sit down and decide to watch the Democratic debates on CNN in order to gain some sophisticaiton.
10:01 – Change the channel to Comedy Central.
10:02 – This Charlie Sheen movie is still high-brow for me, go fuck yourself Comedy Central. Go to check away messages again, nobody’s awake.
10:30 – Still checking away messages.
10:35 – Change facebook status to “Dave is…lovinnn the snow yeeea.”
11:00 – I’m hungry, check away messages to see if anybody wants lunch. Nope, because it’s 11:00 and everybody’s still asleep.

AFTERNOON

12:00 – “Hey Josh you want to go sleighriding? No, ok that’s cool don’t worry about it. See ya later!”
12:03 – “Hey Ken you want to go sleighriding? C’mon it’ll be…ok talk to you later.”
12:10 – Eat lunch alone.
12:40 – “Yoo, Cindi, you want to go sleighriding? …What? C’mon, it’ll…Whatever, who spells Cindi with two I’s you dyke.”
12:45 – Start masturbating to Cindi’s facebook.
12:46 – Cry, take a nap.
1:30 – Plug in the old Super Nintendo and play some Mega Man X.
1:45 – Remember I suck at Mega Man X, play some Link to the Past.
1:51 – Remember I’ve beaten Link to the Past like 12 times before, why am I even playing this?
2:52 – Beat Legend of Zelda again, suck on that Gannondorf.
2:53 – Masturbate to Cindi’s facebook, pretend that she’s Princess Zelda and I’m Link.
3:00 – Decide to get a start on the weekend and do some work.
3:02 – Start playing Mega Man X again.
4:30 – FUCK YOU SIGMA.
4:31 – Contemplate the harsh realities of a lonely life.
4:33 – Change facebook status to “Dave is…can’t wait for spring!1”