Mr. Marshall: Speaking, who’s this?
Mr. Coen: Hey Jim! It’s Arthur, Arthur Coen!
Mr. Marshall: Arthur Coen?
Mr. Coen: Remember? The Tapersville Terrible Tarantulas? The bleachers? Must have been, gee whiz, like, 40 years ago.
Mr. Marshall: Terrible Tarantu… ART! Hey, Art, how the hell are you? God, I haven’t heard from you since those Little League games!
Mr. Coen: I’m great, I’m great! Liz and I finally decided to come to Florida after a while, life’s been great! How’ve you been? How’s your boy, Billy?
Mr. Marshall: Oh, good, good. Still here in Tapersville, though, Alice and I found a nice retirement community. Just taking it easy. And Billy’s good. He’s doing insurance sales in Parkston, two towns over.
Mr. Coen: Oh I see, I see. Guess that amazing pitching arm of his didn’t play out very well, huh?
Mr. Marshall: No, it didn’t. He kept playing through high school and into college, but ended up breaking his arm in some fraternity prank. His aim was never the same after that.
Mr. Coen: Oh, wow, that’s a shame.
Mr. Marshall: Yeah, he took it pretty hard. He kept trying for a while. We put a lot of time and money into his physical therapy, but it didn’t pan out very-
Mr. Coen: Hey, did you watch the Oscars last night?
Mr. Marshall: Excuse me?
Mr. Coen: The Oscars? Did you watch them?
Mr. Marshall: Oh, right. I was able to catch the very end of them…
Mr. Coen: Oh, good! So you saw those two “queer ass camera nerds that are someone’s crap excuses for sons”, then?
Mr. Marshall: Huh?
Mr. Coen: You know, the two brothers who won two Oscars last night, for Best Director and Best Overall Picture?
Mr. Marshall: I.. yeah, I saw someone accepting something for a movie, uh, “No Old Country” or something…
Mr. Coen: Oh yes, “No Country for Old Men”, that took in $1,226,333 in its opening weekend and $58,263,567 overall, to date.
Mr. Marshall: Yeah. Listen, Arthur, I know what this-
Mr. Coen: “No Country for Old Men”. God, what a landmark film. Especially from two “bratty, whiny sops who can’t play baseball worth a damn”.
Mr. Marshall: Arthur, I’m sorry, I’ve had a long time to reflect, and-
Mr. Coen: So how’s the rest of Tapersville been? I haven’t been around in a while, I think I might come back and have my sons buy everything.
Mr. Marshall: Arthur-
Mr. Coen: But hey, enough about my boys, let’s talk about Billy! Insurance sales, huh? Still working off those physical therapy payments?
Mr. Marshall: Sob…
Mr. Coen: Weird how life turns out, huh, friendo?
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If you can't stand the fire alarm, get out of the kitchen. And go on the Internet.
From the director who brought you Wall-Alien.
Hey, you just got here, and this is crazy. But here's some covers, so watch them, maybe.
It's like seeing a whole bunch of twins where one of them is slightly less attractive.
It's like seeing a whole bunch of twins where one of them is slightly less attractive.
Remember when you thought Robot Unicorn Attack was the coolest game? You were an idiot.
Little known literature fact: Dr. Frankenstein was only trying to DRAW a monster that would terrorize villagers.
It's like people on the Internet have never seen a boob before. Come to think of it, many of them haven't.
"I guess these are cool. If you like that kind of thing. Whatever. " - Porsche owner, moments before bursting into tears.
Anyone who DOESN'T want to live in the Hobbit houses is crazier than Denethor.
