Your Facebook groups as a professional resume

Facebook Group Affilliations:

“F.I.N.A.L.S” (F*ck, I Never Actually Learned this Stuff)
joined: October 2006
- I’m a lazy putz who will put any work you give me off for as long as I can.

“Screw the morning! I hate getting out of bed!”
joined: November 2006
- I will always be late to work. Always.
- I have a serious substance abuse problem.

“I picked a major I like and will one day be living in a box”
joined: December 2007
- I’m a directionless sap waiting for someone else to figure out my life.
- I never had the stones to suck it up and take a few friggin’ math classes.

“I talk to my roommate on AIM even though he/she is sitting right next to me”
joined: December 2007
– Your I.T. guys better lock my computer down, because, well, I clearly like dicking off on AIM.

“Chuck Norris does not sleep…He Waits”
joined: January 2008
- Wait, there’s no way I’m just joining this group, is there? Yep, right there, Jan ’08.
- If I suck at life, I’ll probably suck at this job.

“Finish your beer, there are sober kids in Africa”
joined: February 2008
- I’m a prick.
- I absolutely have a serious substance abuse problem.

“Graduating in 4 years is like leaving the party at 10:30!”
joined: March 2008
– I convinced the school psychologist I was batshit crazy one semester so I could drop all my classes without failing out.

Friends/References:
Professor Tigole Bitties, Chair, Sexuality Studies Department
Barack Obama
Borat