2. In public school the only friends you can make the first day are kids with IQ’s under 100 and the dean’s daughter. Side bonus, swirlies will ensue for first time bathroom users.
3. To become popular one must fake mental illnesses in order to gain antidepressants, antipsychotics and antianxiety medication then sell them to make friends.
4. Eating a bottle of antipsychotics won’t kill you. They just will allow you to play video games for hours.
5. Girls will not dump you if you have sex with them at the school dance and then tell everyone after from a balcony.
6. Robert Downey Jr. has still not played a sober character in a movie and/or real life.
Charlie Bartlett is the “How to make friends in Public School” book for Dummies. Pick up your copy today at your local CVS pharmacy.
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