What 'Definitely, Maybe' Taught Me

1. Despite being 12 years old, Abigail Breslin has fallen victim to the pressures of Hollywood and definitely dropped like 10 pounds to play this role.

2. I’m a disgusting human for noticing/commenting on this.

3. At any given time, the person you’re involved with has feelings for someone else. That’s what makes it a romantic COMEDY!

4. If you stab your boyfriend in the back and ruin his career, he’ll dump you. Oh wait, I already knew that, and I’m not a dillusional r-tard like Rachel Weisz’s character.

5. The location scout for this film has never tried to rent an apartment in New York City. Last time I checked, two grad students could not afford a duplex.

6. When casting your life, make sure to fall in love with exactly one blonde, one redhead and one brunette. No more, no less.

But seriously, this movie was cute, no?  Who knew Van Wilder could be so romantic?  Besides Tara Reid, I guess.  Yikes.  You’ve come a long way, Reynolds.