| Christian | Jewish | Agnostic | Rastafarian | Ghostbusters- Themed Cult | |
| Also Known As: | Protestants Catholics | Hebrews | Jews | Hippies | Egonomists? |
| Major Text: | The Bible | The Torah | Pitchfork | The book you use to roll joints with. | Three Disc Special Edition DVD |
| Gathering times: | Sunday mornings | Friday nights | N/A | Three times a day, but I swear I'm not addicted. I swear. | When there's something wrong in your neighborhood |
| Often blame things on: | Jews | Christians | Science | Cops | Zuul |
| Favorite Drink: | Beer | Kosher Wine | bottled water | Dude, anything. Myouth is so dry." | Poisoned Ecto Cooler |
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