Why Are You Going To End Up In The Hospital?

You scored:

0 – 6 points: I don’t know how to tell you this. I’m just going to say it. You have cancer. I’m so sorry. All that effort to stay healthy sure sounds like a waste now, doesn’t it? You must feel really dumb. That jerk down the hall who doesn’t even know how many servings of vegetables to eat a day, he’s not going to die. You are. And you can run a marathon. It sucks, but there’s nothing you can do about bad genes, a contaminated water supply or plain old cell mutation.

7 – 12 points: You’re going to get the flu. Boooooring! Everyone gets the flu in college. If this is your first time you can look forward to catching it 300 more times before you graduate. You’ll probably catch another flu before you even get rid of this one. Go to the doctor, get some drugs, skip a few classes and you’ll be fine before you know it.

13 – 18 points: You’re going to go to the emergency room this semester. You’ll probably even get to ride in an ambulance! You’re going to get wasted and break a bone. At least one bone. Odds are it’ll happen when you fall off the roof of a frat house. In fact, your body is so filled with bacteria and germs that you’ve become immune to disease. Physical pain is the only thing that can harm you now. That’s what happens when you’re not a pussy.