Swiss Cheese is a Scam!

I was at the supermarket yesterday and was dumb founded that SwissCheese is expensive as hell. A pack of American singles goes for about $2.50 at the local supermarket while a pack of Swiss goes for over 4 bucks! I didn’t go to a fancy college, or any college at all for that matter, but isn’t it obvious that Swiss cheese should be the cheapestkind of cheese? Just think of all those holes, it’s less cheese per piece.

Think about it. One piece of swiss cheeese proably has only 3/4 the amount of cheese as any other kind of cheese. It’s an outrage, and I’m pissed off about it. People always talk about how the Swiss are so great, how their chocolate is so tasty and how they’re a neutral nation that doesn’t take any side during a war. Well of course not! They’re too busy living it up on all of their cheese profits that they scam out of the rest of the world to actually take time out of their day to pickup a rifle and head to battle.

So what good are the Swiss if they can’t back you up in battle? Well, they do make the Swiss Army Knife, which I imagine was originally crafted to give cheesemakers more flexibility in the types of holes they could cut.

Look at all those tools. Imagine how many holes they’ve cut over the years. With a weapon like that, it’s a good thing they’re neutral!

And don’t think I’m just mad about cheese. I’ve also noticed that skimpy lingerie is just as expensive as any other piece of clothing. I don’t have a girlfriend or anything, but I do get the Victorias Secretcatalogue and I know that that stuff costs a lot of money. In fact, alot of the clothes at Victorias Secret are comprised of very littlematerial, yet for whatever reason, people continue to shop there. It’s outrageous! And I know what you’re all thinking so let me pre-emptively answer your questions right now. Yes, I myself have ordered some lingerie from Victorias Secret. And yes, I’m a male. And yes, I wearthe lingerie I purchase. And no, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. Sometimes I want to feel sexy too, and the last time Ichecked, that’s not considered a crime.

Anyways, I’m off on a tanget here. Oh yes, the cheese. The hole-ycheese. All I can say is that there’s nothing holy about paying a 30%premium for a food that’s 25% missing. Now put that in yer pipe andsmoke it ya hooligan.