Staff Picks

105%

Issue #51

by 105%-O-Matic on March 11, 2008

Brought to you by the coolest crew since “Star Trek: Deep Space Nine” went off the air.

Spending so much time on Jeopardy has ruined his joke structure.

Who is Alex Trebek?

-Mark Henry

According to IMDB, Cory Matthews was in all 158 episodes of Boy Meets World. Shawn Hunter was only in 157. Can you guess which episode he wasn’t in? It was the one when Cory needed him most.

-Kevin Corrigan

Archeologically-Correct “Indiana Jones” Films

-Indiana Jones and the Radiocarbon Dating of Atypical Soil Samples
-Indiana Jones and the Unpublished Academic Article
-Indiana Jones and the Last Semester Before Tenure
-Patrick Cassels

I think there should be a law, that if you walk down the street while smoking a cigarette, the back of your shirt should read “I’m slowly killing you.”

The front should read an even more embarrassing: “Beauty is in the Eye of the Beer Holder.”

-Amir Blumenfeld

I ordered an everything bagel but it didn’t have any orange crayons on it, so
I sent it back.

-Jeff Rubin

Rhyming Skills

If you can’t find a word that rhymes with “orange,” then you are uncreative, unimaginative, and unglorange.

-Aaron Peever

Cannibal TV

The Brady Brunch
How I Ate Your Mother
Two and a Half Men

-Sean Curry

If you could travel back in time and tell the ten year-old me that I would like diet soda someday, I’d probably be like, “Holy sh*t! You can time travel?! What does soda taste like in the future?!”

-Streeter Seidell

Some people are like Slinkies, not much use but fun to push down a flight of stairs.

-John Zanussi

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