So, remember that time in college when your boyfriend, who went to another school, called you to break up with you at the same time you guys usually have phone sex? Good times.

GF: Hello?

BF: Hey Babe.

GF: Hi! Wait, hold on, I gotta go into my room. Okay. Hi (lusty phone sex voice)

BF: Hey. So listen… I know we usually do this right now, but I actually called to talk.

GF: I know baby. I want to talk too. About boning you!

BF: Yeah, okay but-

GF: What about my butt? Mmmmmm.

BF: No, it's just that, see, we've been together for a long time now and-

GF: I know baby. Mmmmm. Looong. Oh, guess what? I'm taking off my panties.

BF: And…I think that you're great. It's not you, it's me. And…God, this is so hard.

GF: Yeah? Uh! And this is sooo wet.

BF: NO, listen baby…okay I'm just gonna go out and say it: I've met someone else. There's someone else.

GF: Oooo, there's someone else? Is she hot? Can I watch? Mmmm…I'm touching myself thinking about you touching her. Are you licking her tits? Do they taste good?

BF: Yeah, yeah, yeah, so like I said, it's not you, it's me. Though, sometimes, you can just be kind of…dependent and clingy and-

GF: Yeah! Uh! Clingy! Like my pussy clinging to you cock?

BF: No…like when we go to a party and you never let me-

GF: Mmmm, you wanna do it at a party? Okay. Where are we? In the bedroom with all the coats? Yeah, uh, yeah, uh, fuck me on the coats!

BF: No, no, no! I can't fuck you on the coats because I've dumped you!

GF: Mmmm…yeah! Dump me! Dump all over me!!

BF: No, I'm breaking up with you! For real! I'm met someone else!
It's over! / GF: I'm cuming! I'm cuming! Uh! Uh! Uh! Wait, what??!! (heavy breathing. light sobbing)