Staff Picks

Will Riebel

Women Just Don't Understand: Episode 1

by Will Riebel on

Sarah walks into Rick’s room. Rick quickly hangs up hiscell.

Sarah: Hey baby, who was that?

Rick: Oh it was just Dave.

Sarah: Are you still talking to that asshole? Aftereverything he did to you? Remember it was his fault you got that MIP.

Rick: Have you still not gotten over that? That was freshmanyear! Besides, Michelle and Charlie just got here and they’re staying at hisapartment tonight.

Sarah: Wait. Do you mean Michelle as in your ex girlfriendMichelle? That bitch that broke my wittle pooh bear’s heart?

Rick: Jesus Christ, Michelle! Do you honestly think thatname is cute? Remember when you called me that name at the bar last weekend?Yeah, well the guys are still asking me if I come over and play with theirPiglets.

Sarah: Awwww! See? They think it’s cute too.

Rick: Anyways, I think I am gonna have to cancel our movienight tonight. I’m really sorry hun.

Sarah: But I picked out Legally Blonde. That’s our favorite.

Rick: Well I guess I can stay in. But there better besomething in it for me after the movie…

Sarah: I’m way ahead of ya. Look! I also got Legally Blonde2!

Rick: Ok, I’m leaving now.

Sarah: Oh. So what now? Am I not as good enough for you? Doyou prefer Michelle?

Rick: No, its just that-

Sarah: I KNEW IT! Just because she has huge tits and feelsthe need to take her top off after only 2 beers doesn’t make her a good person!

Rick: I know that, but-

Sarah: You know what? Just go! If you want to leave that’sfine.

Sarah turns around and starts to pout and hears the doorslam behind her. She turns around and Rick is gone.

Sarah: That bastard! Oh well. I would much rather listen toWicked. YOU HEAR THAT RICK, YOU ASS?

Back at his apartment, Rick’s neck snaps up…

Michelle: Uh oh. Did the motorboat run out of gas?

See More Popular Articles
Like this Article
URL Close
Will Riebel

Will Riebel

View Profile
Recent Articles
More
uPick
Work Sucks Awful work stories See All »
Up +59 Down
Whiny inmate

I worked at a prison as a corrections officer (prison guard) and there was a particular inmate there who always complained about everything. For three months I endured his rants on how the lights were too bright, the rooms too hot, the blankets too scratchy, and so on. Obviously this is prison and no one gets luxury accommodations. I reached the end of my rope one morning... Read More » when I had to go down the run and wake him up at 7 AM for transport somewhere else in the state for a medical procedure. The guy is all grumpy, complaining about how I'm getting him up at the "ass crack of dawn." He demanded to be allowed time to take a shower, heat and drink some coffee and have a smoke. The van taking him away was already waiting for him and I knew for a fact that he'd taken a shower before going to bed the night before. I told him there wasn't time for any of that, he just had to get dressed and get to the van. He begins swearing and ranting about how inhumanely we were treating him and after months of his complaints I couldn't hold it in anymore. "I know, it sucks how early you have to get up to get your free medical care, huh?" I told him. He was immediately silent . He got dressed and left in a huff. I later found out how he wrote a grievance to the warden about my comment. Inmate complaints are occasionally reason for worry, so I was nervous when the warden called me in to his office. It turned out he just thought my comment was hilarious and told me to keep up the good work.