Leaked FBI transcript of Elliott Spitzer's first conversation with call girl 'Kristin'

Kristin: Hi Mr. Spitzer

Elliott: Haha, please, my Dad is Mr. Spitzer. You can just call me Governor Spitzer.

Kristin: Hehe, sure thing Governor.

Elliott: Now you’re sure this whole thing is uh.. umm., just gonna stay between you and me, right?

Kristin: Hehe, of course silly. I’m 6 diamonds, and one of those “D’s” stands for ‘Discreet’.

Elliott: Heh, okay. That works for me.

[Spitzer akwardly leans in and attempts to kiss her]

Kristin: Whoa, slow down there Governor. First we gotta take care of the payment. I’m 4,000 dollars an hour.

Elliott: Oh right, my mistake. Okay, so 4,000 dollars an hour. That sounds reasonable. Can I pay on a pro-rata basis? If I’m done in 30 seconds, can I just give you 100 bucks or so?

Kristin: Sorry sexy, it’s a flat rate, but I’m well worth every penny… or should i say diamond? hehe

Elliott: Okay, let me wire you the money [takes out his blackberry]. Okay, now that that’s out of the way, let’s initiate the intercourse.

Kristin: wow, you’re such a dirty talker

Elliott: [thinks to himself] “Stillll got it!”

Kristin: So what do you have in mind? Before we get busy, I should just let you know that I’m kind of like Lebron James..

Elliott: What do you mean?

Kristin: I’m quite talented at a number of positions, hehe

Elliott: That’s good to know because I have a special request

Kristin: What is it? The legistlative leglock? The gubenetorial crane? The Harry S Truman?

Elliott: No no no, none of those. This is something different.. Something WILD

[Elliott whispers something in Kristen’s ear]

Kristin: Are you out of your mind? You want me to do THAT? Do you have any idea how dangerous that is?

Elliott: Come on, I think it’d be fun, and I’m a realllly good tipper..

Kristin: I’m sorry, but that’s just not safe and I don’t feel comfortable doingthat. Having sex in the shower might sound like a good idea, but over 200 people a year are injured in shower-related mishaps. We couldeasily slip and fall and break a limb.

Elliott: Okay okay, we’ll do it your way…

[she proceeds to unbutton his shirt]

Elliott: You ready B?

Kristin: Oh yeah…

[15 minutes of awkward governor sex ensue. The 2 are now lying face up in bed together]

Elliott: Wow, that was amazing.

Kristin: Thanks, it is kinda my job.

Elliott: No not that. Your voice… it almost sounds majestic.

Kristin: Really?!! Wow. It’s funny you say that because my real aspiration is to be a singer. Hey, I’ll give you the link to my myspace and you can check me out.

[Kristen gets up from the bed to get a pen and paper. She’s only wearing panties and a bra]

Elliott: Hey, I think I’m going to call you K-mart from now on

Kristin: Huh? Why?

Elliott: Because you’re clothes are half off!

Kristin: [pretends to laugh and remembers why guys like this need to go to prostitutes in the first place]

Elliott: [continues his K-mart analogy to himself and thinks “and because you also service 2,000 people a day”]

Kristin: Shoot. I can’t find a pen, how bout I call you later and let you know?

Elliott: Sure, just don’t forget to dial 9 first!

[Kristin and Elliott share a hearty laugh]

Where are they now?

After resigning over the prositution scandal, Elliott Spitzer’s wife divorced him 2 months later. Elliott currently stars on VH1’s newest reality dating show “Spitz or Swallows” where he attempts to find true love.

Kristin is currently starring in the 4th season of Flavor of Love.