"What The Metal Gear Series Taught Me" by Randy

Every terrorist bent on world domination will have some sort of insane super power.
When a group of these Super Terrorists threaten the safety of the entire world, it is the policy of the United States government to respond by trusting everything to one man.
If you are cloned, you will look exactly like your father, have the exact same voice, and while your clone father will like to smoke cigars, you will like cigarettes.
Your cloned brother who was cloned from the exact same person you were, will only slightly resemble you, have a different hair color, and speak with an English accent.
Mullets make you indestructable.
A Bandana is just as important as a gun in combat.
The best soldier to ever live looks exactly like Sean Connery, and his clone son bears a striking resemblance to Michael Biehn.
The world is run by a group of twelve men who died 200 years ago.
Next Generation Special Forces will be extremely near sighted, having their vision restricted to about a ten foot cone.
Metal Gear is not, in fact, a titanium penis.

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