All the fun of a Stephen King novel, without the crappy ABC mini-series.
Awesome tramp stamp idea for a homosexual gentleman: “Members Only.”
Unfortunate News
The world’s only police sketch artist was killed today. Nobody will ever know who did it…Dial-up is a lot like giving birth. It’s painful, slow, and you’ll probably scream and bleed at some point, but at least at the end you’re rewarded with a naked person.
I missed SNL again this week. That’s six years in a row, I have to go to get DVR.
Reality Check
Today, as I watched TV with my father, I realized that the History Channel is just really boring reality TV.Advertising Slogans in Real Life
“I gotta have my pops!” cried the orphaned boy.“Maybe she’s born with it. Maybe it’s Maybelline,” said the doctor of the debilitating skin condition radiating out from the young woman’s eyelid.
“Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm… Toasty!” screamed the Quiznos ad executive’s retarded nephew.
Some people think men who cry during a romantic movie are weak. I just think they’re good actors.
Christmas Gift Org Charts, Through Life
The Internet Justice League
8 Things the Internet Ruined
What Everyone in Your Family is Bringing for Thanksgiving
The 8 Kinds of Christmas Cards
The Absolute Worst Case Scenario Handbook: Holiday Shopping Edition
Spending your Valentine's Day on the internet? This will make everything better.
Thoughts on Valentine's Day from people who are paid to be cynical bastards.
The 3D makes this movie look real...ly sucky
Your pet says a lot about you. But then, you have a gossipy parrot.
Guys try to surf without water, and somehow succeed.
Ice T is good, but this time of year it's all about CoCo
Yeah! And why did Microsoft make Bing when they can just use Google?
Valentine's Day was simpler back then. And creepier.
Hey! Get your real world out of my internet!
These guys are getting called out by the reeferee.
