When a Telemarketer Calls

Have you ever gotten a call from a telemarketer that doesn’tquite seem like it’s on the up and up? Well here is a crude translation of asketchy telemarketers script.

What They Say:

Hello, my name is Angela and I’m calling you today because you have beenselected in a sweepstakes drawing by your credit card company!

We are offering subscriptions to 5 popular magazines of your choice! All for amonthly payment of $17 a month. This includes us giving you the first monthfree!

Okay, now that you seem interested in our offer we need to get some informationfrom you.  First if I could get your mailing address, credit card number,and name and phone number of a reference. Also, if I could get your socialsecurity number just to confirm who you are.

Please stay on the line to repeat that information into our recording system.

You can cancel this program at any time if you become unhappy.  Thank youso much for taking this oppurtunity with our company and your magazines will bearriving in your mailbox soon!


What They Really Say:

Hello, my name is definitely not Angela and I’m calling you today because wegot your number from a sketchy website that you visited once and stupidly lefta phone number. Oh, we also have nothing to do your credit card company. Anddon’t worry, if you don’t give in now we’ll call you everyday until you changeyour number.

We are offering you 5 magazine subscriptions of your choice, but reallyovercharging you. We will be charging you $17 dollars whenever we want,basically 3 times a month for the next 5 years.

Okay, now that you are stupid enough to think that you are getting a good dealcan you give me everything I can use to steal your identity and destroy yourcredit rating. Oh, and give the name and number of someone who can tell mewhere to reach you in case you wise up and change your number and banking infoso we can send a collection agent to harass you.

Now just repeat that info into this recording system so I can sell yourinformation later on.

If you figure up what happened in a week and want to cancel, good luck!Everyone here will give you the run around and somehow get you signed up for asecond account and then doubly charge you. Thank you for being a complete moronand you will receive your magazines…never.