Alternate ways to end "..and then I found 5 dollars" stories

…and then I stabbed him in the face.
…and then I put my pants on and said “Thank you for the lovely tea party”
…and then I drank the rest of my flask and said “This funeral is LAME!!”
…and then I asked if she had the antidote for the poison I put in her drink.
…and then I had an unexpected bowel movement.
…and then I asked him if he thought prostitutes had feelings to which he replied “Nothing without a soul has feelings.”
…and then I handsomely tipped my stripper and made a quick exit out of the Champagne room.
…and then I found a dead kitten.
…and then I said “Well, this is where I get off,” and jumped out of the driver’s seat as the car sped off the boat landing into the lake.
…and then I said,“Ya know what’s funny…that you can kill a baby when it’s in you, but you can’t when it comes out. I mean, come on, that is SUCH a double-edged sword.”