"Things Heard Around IMF When Ethan Hunt Isn't In The Office" by Adam Hrabik

No, of course I don't want to go out on an actual mission. I'd much rather stay cooped up in this tiny fucking cubicle like any other pencil-pusher. Do you realize no one believes me when I say I'm a secret agent? It's because I don't get to go on any sweet missions! When do I get to shoot a gun?
This paystub will self-destruct in ten seconds.
Did you notice Hunt looks exactly like Tom Cruise? That's so weird!
How am I supposed to tell you what it says? It's HTML code, I'm not some sort of fucking computer nerd!
Quick, hide the paper footballs!
Yeah, your hidden camera is working. Holy shit, did you see the tits on that girl? Follow her. I don't care, just do it!
You see Edwards over there? Yeah, I poisoned his coffee. Wait for it…three…two…boom, he's down! Oh my God, he's fucking dying! This is the best day ever!
HEY! I told you to clean the fucking men's room! It looks like SHIT in there! What are we el paying you for-o? Do you want me to report you to INS? I have them on fucking speed dial! Clean-o el bathroom-o! El urine-o FUCKING-O EVERYWHERE-O!
Okay, there's a t-intersection coming up. Take a left. No wait—did I say left? No-no-no take a—Paul?……….uhh, Paul?
Want some gum? I know there's two different colors, that's just the brand. Dude, just play along, I'm sooo bored!

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