Over the past few months, Susanna Wolff has done a great job getting undeserving guys everywhere a little action with her great columns on how to get girls. While I can’t offer any of the same wisdom, I can share with you guys 3 ways NOT to get a girl on Facebook. Observe:
1. The Faux-Facebook Event For Your “Lost Phone.”
2. Treating the Facebook Marketplace Like eHarmony.
3. The Drunken Wallpost Casanova
Believe it or not, 95% of girls do not find a text-based caricature of a facial to be romantic or amusing. And those last 5% are swimming with disease.
Special Thanks to Adam Hrabik and one of his old articles for inspiration
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Hot athletic girls working a pole
Put that English degree to work over-analyzing beloved children's entertainment.
A good resource if you base you fantasy football team on great hair.
Dear roommate, please stop leaving your notes everywhere.
Cody Kennedy. Not pictured: clothes.
Don't tell me where Waldo is. Now you've ruined it.
This injustice will not stand. Largely due to the packaging.
It's rare to find sculptures of this caliber
For those who understand data sets, but not the mysteries of the heart
Just a few more quarters... I know I can get this baby.
