Stuff You Don't Care About But Will Help You Get Laid

It’s March Madness ya’ll, and you know what that means – a bunch of crazy bitches running around Hollywood!

1. Wanna come really close to seeing Jessica Simon’s V Zone? Now your wish can come true. She may not have a career, but she’s still a tease! [IDLYITW]

2. Richie Sambora – who does something in Bon Jovi and was married to Heather Locklear but then ruined it by effing Denise Richards – was arrested for drunk driving. Pretty standard for LA, except his 10-year old daughter was in the car. At least we can predict that she’ll be hot and crazy by the time she’s 18. Nice work dad. [WWTDD]

3. This is NOT a Lindsay Lohan sex tape, but it’s still fun to pretend, right? [IDLYITW]

4. Ashlee Simpson in a bikini. I dunno, the sexiest thing about these pics is that her sister isn’t in them, luckily. Also – her tattoo. WTF? Fugtastic! [Egotastic]

5. Heidi Montag, the she-bot from The Hills, is looking for some lookalikes to model her new clothing line. All women made of plastic and hate should apply! [HollywoodTuna]

6. Kate Bosworth at the 21 premiere. She marked the event by not eating for 21 days. [CelebSlam]

7. And finally, here is the story of a dude having a baby. Except the dude used to be a chick, and kind of still is. But not really. Anyway, he’s allegedly pregnant. Pretty cool! [DListed]

Tarheeled,
Kate