106% Issue #1

Just as funny as 105%, but even more mathematically implausible!

“I am Legend,” starring Macaulay Caulkin as Dr. Kevin McAllister
“I made my planet disappear?”
….
“I made, my planet, disappear…”
(Wiggles eyebrows adorably)
-Chase Mitchell
I had a dream the other night that my best friend died. I woke up with mourning wood.
-Matt Enstrom

Emo pick-up line:
Is there a mirror in your pocket? Cause I want to cut myself with it’s shards
-Daniel Eric Lopez

Rejected entry for Jeff Foxworthy’s Redneck Dictionary
Kumquat: “So I was screwin’ mah cousin the other day and ah made ‘er kumquat a bit.”
-Matt Gorman

The Compulsive Smack-Talker On Valentine’s Day
Girl: These flowers are beautiful!
CST: Beautiful like YOUR FACE!!!!!!
-Adam Hrabik

The Tannen Family, Screwed Over by Time Travelers Since 1885:
It must really have sucked to be Biff. Think about it.
One minute you’re bullying some dork and drinking light beer, then BAM next thing you know you’re waxing cars, then BAM you own a casino, then BAM you’re starting on that second coat of wax
-Justin Klenk

Porn Quotes, or taunting a homeless guy?
“Yeah, beg for it, you know you like it”
“You filthy, stinky, dirty tramp”
“Hold on, I’m gonna drop a load in your cup”
-Kevin Slane
Kids Shows Inspired By Intolerance:
The Fairly Odd-parents
Ned’s Declassified
My Gym Partner’s A Monkey
-Josh Carter

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