The Return of the One-Year High School Alumnus

Oh man, I can’t believe this place is still like, going on without us. They repaved the parking lot? Lame. Why do we have to wear visitor passes? We didn’t have to do that last year. Dude, I know we were students here but still, this is gay. What the fuck, why did they repaint the library gray? It used to be white. Man, this place has really gone downhill over the past year. Whatever, where’s Mr. Graver? He’s like, the only teacher I’ve missed. Huh? Fired? Bro I know but that whole molestation thing was what like, two years ago? Honestly it’s old news, I can’t believe they still care. And I already said hi to a bunch of my other teachers from senior year and none of them seem to know who I am. I can’t believe it, I was like the man in high school too. Anyway I bet the football team sucks now, our class had like 18 starters. We’re 7-0? That’s gay. What’s with this new field, where’s the mud and everything? Boy, I sure am glad I graduated from this shithole. Like just in time, too. College is so much better, look at all these high school kids walking from class to class, so ignorant. Haha, they’re all sober too. What? Yes I have, like three times! Yea it was only one shot but that shit was like 200 proof. I was totally hammered, right in the middle of my psych lecture. You would totally get in trouble with the faculty if you did that shit here. Man, life is so much better without principals. Or should I say principles! Haha. I’m still funny, right?