Momma: Hello sweety.
Tayshawn: B*itch don't call me sweety when I don't even know who you are! Announce yo'self ho!
Momma: It's your mother.
Momma: sigh It's me "player," the "ho" that makes your grits.
Tayshawn: Oh, sup ma.
Momma: Nothing much honey, I was just calling to let you know that you got a package.
Tayshawn: Oh, yea word. I know what it is. Don't open it.
Momma: Well, I already opened it, and I don't know how I feel about
Tayshawn: AW HELL NAW!!! DID YOU NOT HEAR WHAT I JUST SAID? DO YOU NEED A Q-TIP? WOULD A COTTON SWAB MAKE YOU NOT SUCH A B*TCH?!
Momma: Tay, I don't think that kind of language is really necessary. I just wanted to know how you paid for the fl*shlight.
Tayshawn: I GOT MY GIRL TO BE A HO FOR HALLOWEEN AND THEN I MUGGED HER.
Momma: Now, I think you're a bit too young to be dating
Tayshawn: YOU DON'T KNOW ME!!! WHO'S IN MY FAV 5? NAME ONE PERSON IN MY FAV 5!!!
Momma: Johnny Turnblatt, Scotty Newfield, Matt Stills, Achmed Mohammed-Steinberg, and Mike Bibby.
Tayshawn: HOW THE HELL DID YOU KNOW THAT? YOU'RE SUCH A TIT!
Momma: I gave it to you for Christmas with your best friends already pre-programmed you know that! Such lovely, young white men
Tayshawn: I AM GOING TO KNIFE YOU IN THE STERNUM, AT LEAST!
Momma: Now Tay, you need to relax. Why don't you come downstairs for dinner I made brisket
Tayshawn: I AM OLD ENOUGH TO MAKE MY OWN DINNER WOMAN!!!
Momma: YOU ARE SIX YEARS OLD MOTHER F*CKER!
Tayshawn: clutching his blanky and holding back tears Six and a half ho.
Momma: WHAT YOU SAY CHILD?!?!
Tayshawn: Oh god, nothing!
(Momma storms in the bedroom armed with a frying pan)
Momma: I HEARD WHAT YOU SAID!!!
(Momma bludgeons Tayshawn repeatedly with the pan)