Mike Karnell

What "Jaws: The Revenge" Taught Me

1. Sharks can not only hold a grudge against an entire family, but can pass it down from generation to generation.

2. Sharks can track people’s flights from the Northeast to the Bahamas. Seriously, nothing is safe on the internet.

3. Sharks can not only travel from the Northeast to the Bahamas in roughly a day but can survive in both environments.

4. A 25 foot long Great White Shark, that weighs approximately 3 tons, has the same vertical leap as a LeBron James and Flipper love child.

5. Only after dozens of attacks spanning an entire decade does it in fact get “Personal”.

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Footsie

My boyfriend and I had started sleeping together, but hadn't been doing so for too long. We were still getting to know how kinky the other one was. So one night after hanging out he went to go get ready for bed I went and laid down in his bed naked, pretending to be asleep. I heard the door creak open, heard him walk quietly up to the foot of them bed, and begin slowly and... Read More » sensually licking my foot. I froze, completely repulsed and unsure how to react. I turned around to face him, and explain that I just wasn't ever going to be into that sort of thing, and could this even work out? . . .only to find his roommate's pitbull wagging her tail and licking away and my oblivious boyfriend still in the bathroom.