Top 6 reasons I'm Big Boned

1. If I lose weight who’s gonna take up all the empty seats in the lecture halls?

2. Laundry, I like the clean kind, not the stuff you have to clean everytime after going to the “gym”

3. Three words – “Krispy Kreme Fundraisers”, gotta help out those in need

4. 6 pack yuengling – $7.49, 30 rack of keystone – 15 bucks little man, you do the math.

    – “Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, ‘It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.’” – Jack Handy

5. Keepin the dining hall staff underpaid and overworked, gotta finish that buffet

6. Have you ever tried typing more than 6 points about something, you get out of breath starting around 5. I gotta go sit down for a while.