Headlines you might read in the Sunday paper of a perfect world:
- Canseco: I helped provide producer with ‘baby batter’ for Zoey 101 star
- Women unanimously agree: size doesn’t matter
- Frat guy learns second song on acoustic guitar
- Study: Late night fast food binges help prevent cancer
- DNA evidence helps resolve who stole the cookie form the cookie jar
- Fox issues public apology for ‘sh*tty Japanimation’ Ninja Turtles revival
- Write-in ballots help elect Bart Simpson President
- Nestle introduces lobster filled Hot Pockets
- Pitt and Jolie adopt African child, later learn it is Gary Coleman
- Survey reveals 90% of girls pillow fight in underwear; other 10% are fat
+
The Absolute Worst Case Scenario Handbook: Holiday Shopping Edition
The Internet Justice League
Drinking Games for the Mature Adult
Dating Dos and Don'ts
What Everyone in Your Family is Bringing for Thanksgiving
Amazing Dad Magic
Spending your Valentine's Day on the internet? This will make everything better.
Thoughts on Valentine's Day from people who are paid to be cynical bastards.
The 3D makes this movie look real...ly sucky
Your pet says a lot about you. But then, you have a gossipy parrot.
Guys try to surf without water, and somehow succeed.
Ice T is good, but this time of year it's all about CoCo
Yeah! And why did Microsoft make Bing when they can just use Google?
Valentine's Day was simpler back then. And creepier.
Hey! Get your real world out of my internet!
These guys are getting called out by the reeferee.
