What Was That Guy Thinkin When He Bought That Car??

Ever wonder what the guy driving that car next to you is thinking? Fear not for I have the answer

Truck:
I’m a huge douche-bag from the suburbs who likes to pretend that I do manual labor so I can justify taking up my parking space and half of the one next to me. If you scratch my truck I will be sure to hunt you down and kill you. It makes me feel powerful when small little civics move out of my way on the road.

Raised Truck or SUV:
Chicks are always checkin out my automobile because they can see how huge my penis must be. I only have the balls to endanger everyone on the road by driving around a three foot raised truck because I’m so secure in myself. On an unrelated note, why am I still a virgin? I just don’t get it…

Car With Jacked Up Sound System:
I’m so loud that I can wake everyone up everyone in the neighborhood whenever I want. I like to bust it out though on the weekdays at around three in the morning. I just want to make sure everyone knows how much money I put into my system. I’m doin them a service by letting them listen to my phat beats bumped out of the most rad ride on the road…I’m sorry what was that? I can’t hear anything anymore, and yes it’s worth it in case you’re wondering.

Crappy Car with Nice Rims:
I’m rollin on twenty-two’s and everyone’s checkin out my ride twenty-four seven. I may have only spent 2 grand on the car but when I ride out to the local Churches Chicken on these twenty thousand dollar rims I cause wrecks from people staring. The ladies always ask me why I didn’t use the money for a better car instead of the rims. I know what they are trying to say is “You make me horny!”