“Moments Before…” is a column that examines the exact events that lead up to a specific CollegeHumor picture. None of the dialogue below is conjecture — they are all based on facts and interviews. For maximum hilarity reveal the picture by clicking on the link after reading the article.
Photographer: All right, shall we get started? Let’s see two big smiles!
Man: Wait!
Photographer: Of course. I’m sorry. When you’re ready.
Woman: You should take off your shirt, baby.
Photographer: He should?
Man: I mean, I didn’t get this tattoo of a squashed bug on my shoulder so that it would be hidden during our photos.
Photographer: Right. Sorry. Ready now?
Man: Not even close. Baby, take off your shirt too.
Woman: You think so?
Photographer: Probably n—
Man: I’ve never been so sure about anything, ever.
Woman: I love you so hard.
Photographer: All right. You’re both topless now.
Man: Pretty awesome, right?
Photographer: …and she’s pregnant. She’s definitely pregnant.
Woman: Yes.
Photographer: So, sir, let me get this straight. You came into Wal-Mart to take a topless photo of you both, and your… wife is it?
Man: What DON’T you get?
Photographer: All right let’s just do this.
Woman: Grab my ass.
Man: Unbutton your jeans.
Woman: Just the top button, though.
Man: You are so pregnant.
Woman: And you look like Eminem.
[Flash!]
The Internet Justice League
Pop-Up Notifications in Real Life
The True Meaning of Christmas, According to Christmas Movies
What Everyone in Your Family is Bringing for Thanksgiving
Drinking Games for the Mature Adult
iPhone Airplane Modes for Other Vehicles
Spending your Valentine's Day on the internet? This will make everything better.
Thoughts on Valentine's Day from people who are paid to be cynical bastards.
The 3D makes this movie look real...ly sucky
Your pet says a lot about you. But then, you have a gossipy parrot.
Guys try to surf without water, and somehow succeed.
Ice T is good, but this time of year it's all about CoCo
Yeah! And why did Microsoft make Bing when they can just use Google?
Valentine's Day was simpler back then. And creepier.
Hey! Get your real world out of my internet!
These guys are getting called out by the reeferee.
