You are radiant tonight, but I have consumed much alcohol

As you talk to me I can barely hear what you’re saying,
is it the sound of your beauty or the lack of attention I’m paying.
I look at you and I couldn’t ask for more,
but I am finished drinking most of my two-four.
You ask me if i want to take this party upstairs at all,
I reply “Hell yeah, just let me finish this mickey of fireball!”

I wake up the next morning remembering parts of the night,
just praying when i turn I won’t get a fright.
Last night I could have sworn you looked like Scarlett Johansson,
now you look like the lovechild of Rosie O’Donnell and Marilyn Manson.
I put on my clothes then grab my hat and dipset,
a mickey and a two-four and my worst hook-up yet.

I look down in the dirt and my friends ask me “What’s wrong?”
I say “Guys I should not have done that final beer bong.”
They say it was probably all the tequilla I stole,
I think that may have taken it’s toll.
But this girl looked good after that third shot of rye,
Oh, well at least I didn’t sleep with a guy.