An Internet User Enjoys a Free Meal at a 4 Star Restaurant

Waiter: Tonight your first course will be Confit foie gras with slow cooked free range chicken, truffled quail’s egg, pear chutney.

Diner 1: FAIL

Diner 2: Pear chutney? Maybe I would consider even considering eating it if that wasn’t done like 5 years ago.

Waiter: The second course will be Sautéed Maine diver scallops with mixed spices, cauliflower purée and sherry caramel .

Diner 1: So I guess this place is just going to keep giving us the same sautéed Maine diver scallops every day and we are supposed to still be entertained?

Diner 2: The restaurant we went to before this had cauliflower purée too. Are you serving any originality tonight?

Waiter: Your third course is pan seared black cod with pig’s tails, Belon oysters, celeriac and Périgold truffle.

Diner 1: Ok, I seriously need to re-evaluate my life if I ever think seared black cod is interesting.

Diner 2: Maybe this would be ok if you didn’t have to include the stereotypical Belon oysters.

Waiter: Your fourth course will be a loin of venison with cocoa butter, braised red cabbage, and quark dumplings.

Diner 1: FAG

Diner 2: Get a girlfriend.

Waiter: Your final course is a cinnamon sable with raspberry cremeux and Kilchurn Estate honeycomb.

Diner 1: The chef is fat and ugly.

Diner 2: Diner 1 FTW!