Here at National High Five Day we're celebrating our 6th anniversary of spreading the gospel of the high five and fruitlessly trying to get all of America another day off work one communicable disease at a time.
In our travels, we've come across a wide array of extremely impressive high fives. There are the classics like the Top Gun, The Saved By The Bell/Washington Redskins Fun Bunch, and the High Five While Rubbing Balls. But we've put together a list of some of the truly amazing fives that we've seen, heard of, or crossed the street to get away from.
Do try these at home:
The "Mission Accomplished" Set out to climb a mountain, despite assurances from every possible expert that it's far too risky, too dangerous, and that even if you get up there, there is almost no exit strategy. Climb about 10% of the way up the mountain. Stop and give yourself a celebratory high five. Then just call it a day.
The Barbaro You high five your friend so hard that it breaks his arm.Your friend has surgery immediately, and spends the next 7 monthsattempting to recover. He is eventually euthanized.
The "About Damn Time" Two friends high-five each other while listening to the copy of Chinese Democracy by Guns and Roses that they just brought home from the store.
The Sexman Review the movie "Rambo", give it five stars (indicated byholding up five fingers), then high five a friend who has also justreviewed "Rambo" and given it five stars. Exclaim "A Sexman FIVE!!!!"
The 2007-2008 Memphis Tiger You're friend puts his arm up in the arm for a high five. You move your hand towards his until your hand until its just inches away, then start violently choking until you convulse on the ground.
The Pynchon Make an offhand reference to literary works of Thomas Pynchon during the upwards high five motion so that despite having witnessed you performing The Barbaro, The Baconator, The Kanye West's Mother, and The Robert Byrd, onlookers will still think you are both distinguished and well read.
The Really Hot Prostitute That You Have A Half Off Coupon For That Turns Out To Be A Dude Run towards a friend, gear up for the greatest high five in the history, then at the last minute he kicks you in the nuts. Hard.
There you have it. Now go out and high five a stranger! But remember, if he or she doesn't high five you back, you're just slapping a stranger.