Anyone that has ever dated a blonde knows how constantly entertaining it can be, not because of their looks or all too common high pitched voice, but because of some of their quotes that make you wonder to yourself “She has to be fucking kidding.”
After living in Florida for a few months she came to visit, and this was the first thing out of her mouth when getting off the plane from Ohio while rubbing her legs in pain.
Blonde: Damn my legs hurt I think I got jet legs.
Stunned Boyfriend: um… yeah… I think thats jet lag.
Blonde: Yeah thats what I meant.
Stunned Boyfriend: … well at least you look great.
Still living in Florida I forgot my mothers birthday in Ohio.
Me: Damn she is going to be pissed.
Roommate: Tell her your phone died.
Paris: Ohh! Ohh! I know! Tell her its yesterday because of the time zones!
Roommate: You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.
A couple people are watching TV at my house and a “WaMu” commercial came on with some kids being taught.
TV: Okay kids what weighs more? A pound of feathers, or a pound of bricks?… They weigh the same!”
Einstein: Dumb ass kids…
One day she decided to buy a bed and put it together, i came home to see it still apart after about 3 hours. I noticed her trying to screw it together the wrong way in frustration.
Me: Hun, its righty tighty lefty loosey
Bob Villa: I am going right!
I bit my tounge on that one and went over to show her how to do it, then realized something else.
Me: Baby this is a fucking nail.
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