Imagined Conversations: My Brain Dreaming

Left-Side-Of-Brain: Hmm, what do you want to dream about tonight, Hank?
Right Brain: Falling off a cliff?
Left Brain: …You always say that…
Right Brain: How about that cute girl in English? I’d like to anec her dote!
Left Brain: Not tonight, Jason’s with his girlfriend.
Right Brain: Fine party-pooper, you start us off…
Left Brain: Alright. Jason, you are playing Guess Who in your living room. All your friends and family are there. You guess your opponent’s character in one turn. Everyone goes nuts! Someone hands you a prize. You open it.
Right Brain: It’s a big, black dildo! Then you start making out with Lindsay Lohan!
Left Brain: Huh?
Right Brain: Out of nowhere you starting falling from an airplane! Oh crap, your penis just fell off of your body!
Left Brain: God damnit! He has an exam tomorrow. He needs good sleep! Jason, you are not scared. You are not feeling panicked. Although you are falling from the sky, you are completely relaxed. You look to your right and you see a beautiful –
Right Brain: Criss Angel. He’s nude and he’s putting hot wax on his testicles.
Left Brain: Dude, not cool! Jason, you teleport back to your house. It is pleasant and relaxing.
Right Brain: Then you start waxing up your testicles. The wax is way too hot, it eats through your balls!
Left Brain: But in a super relaxing way…
Right Brain: And then your house turns into a space ship! You are naked for some reason and no one else is. You are the commander of a ship and you are being attacked! “Do we fire the missile captain!” They’re jammed! Oh no! The Martian invaders are coming straight for us!
Left Brain: So you run away…
Right Brain: But it feels like you are running in super thick sand! You can barely move!
Left Brain: So you teleport to your home’s backyard…
Right Brain: But your back-yard has a cliff on it. You try not to fall off!
Left Brain: And you don’t…
Right Brain: Until you start making out with Criss Angel!
Left Brain: I don’t want to end like this man…
Right Brain: That’s exactly what you scream while you are falling to your death and right before you hit the ground you –
Left Brain: WAKE UP!
——-
Girlfriend: How’d you sleep, baby?
Jason: Not good.
Girlfriend: Who was it this time?
Jason: Criss Angel…
Girlfriend: Again?
Jason: Yeah.