How to deal with group projects

Thursday, April 10
How is it that the professor gives a choice between a comprehensive final and a 20 page group paper, and noone except me and the dude in the corner vote for the final. I know I’m gonna fail the class anyway; at least with the final, I wouldn’t have to do shit. Ah well, the group will expect me to do something so I can’t let them down. Ah well, at least one of the girls in my group doesn’t resemble a cow. If only the professor put me with my fraternity bro and that hot chick, then I’d totally put some work into this.

Wednesday, April 16
Shit! Group meeting today, and they expect me to have a rough draft. FAT ASS CHANCE! I slept every minute that I wasn’t partying since the paper was assigned. I may work on it a little just to say I did something.

Thursday, April 17
Totally lied in class and told the group that I got all my sources and did a page of my draft. Fuck the next group meeting is Sunday; I really had stuff planned for 420. I guess I could bullshit my way through my part in between parties this weekend.

Saturday, April 19
Damn, this is a wicked mad hangover I got. Those kegstands were awesome though. I totally felt up that chick while I was holding her up for one. Fuck, I gotta get to work on that paper. Looking up sources…Must not Facebook…I gotta go fap then I swear I’ll do this…Okay I’m back, where was I? Oh yeah, looking up sources. Ooh, hey man, did you just download new Guitar Hero songs. SuhWEET, let me play them. Oh, the paper, I’ll do right after this song.

Sunday, April 20
I’ve gotta do some work on this paper before the meeting and then I’m getting completely blazed. Dammit Steve! Stop trying to pass me the bong. I’ve got shit to do before I can get stoned. What, you saying I can’t handle it? Bitch, let me show you how to take a hit! Dude, I’m so fucked up; I’ll just skip the meeting and get the paper emailed to the group tomorrow.

Monday, April 21
Ah, screw it. I’m going to fail anyways. Oh shit, they sound angry on facebook. Her status says she wants to stab me in the face. I’m definitely gonna take my contact info off of my profile and avoid them like the plague.

Tuesday, April 22
I’m just gonna change my facebook and myspace to look like a suicide tribute page. “Matt is R.I.P.”, heh, that’ll throw ‘em off my trail for a few weeks.